I made it…

This is actually an email I sent to a friend, but I feel it describes my feelings so well. We all have our mountains to climb…

Well, I made it through major surgery—lost two liters of blood and almost needed a blood transfusion, but luckily didn’t. I made it through the removal of two ribs and my chest being stretched. I made it through my night in ICU and a few days on the spinal floor. I made it through low oxygen levels and having to be on oxygen, pulling a tank with me. I made it to the rehab hospital—my first ambulance transport. I made it through the most intense pain in my chest. I knew I must be having a heart attack, but it turned out to be a post-surgery complication—a moderately collapsed lung, where they had to drain more fluid from around my lung—another LITER. And there was still 500ccs left to absorb on its own. I made it through xray after xray to make sure Lung is ok, though it has scarring and will never be the same. And will take 2-3 months before the pain and tightness will lessen. I made it through the pain so bad i lay there crying with tears rolling down my face. I made it through 3 hrs a day of physical therapy and occupational therapy. I made it through walking with a walker and graduating to a cane, which I still use. I am making it through wearing this massive brace that I will wear for at least six more months. I made it up and down my first flight of stairs. It was hard to breathe because my endurance is so low because of my lung, but I did it! I made friends in rehab who are struggling like me. I have learned I have a lot of support. I made it through my surgery checkup with good feedback (go back in six weeks) and I made it through my first long car ride, having to stop halfway through the drive because of the pain. But… I made it home. Into my own bed. I made it back to my babies and my husband. It has been a hell of a ride… and I have a lot more recovery to face–6 months plus–but as I see it, I sure have done a lot…and I sure have a lot to be thankful for. Thank you for praying for me. I’m continually amazed at this life…and what it brings…and i’m continuing to grow in faith. And trusting. I am trying to remain open to where God is leading me and where he needs me to go next.

This is a hard time. My emotions are all over the place. But I will continue to look at my successes as I heal. I hope, no matter what obstacles we face in this life, we can look to the good. And be able to say “today I’m a little better than yesterday”.