Today is a big day in our house. It is class assignment day. My daughter will finally find out who her first grade teacher will be for the year. She has been waiting in great anticipation the whole summer, just wanting to know what’s next for her.
I can relate. I have been in a state of waiting and anticipation ever since surgery. It has now been about six months. That’s half a year of not knowing answers! And, truthfully, I still have no idea what’s next in my life.
I wish it was as easy as heading over to the school, lining up for a short time, and receiving a piece of paper with all the answers you desire. God doesn’t work quite that way, though.
If there is anything I’ve learned through this recovery process, it is that the waiting is necessary. It is purposeful. Even though I don’t have a plan by society’s standards, God is working on me. I’m growing as a person, as a mom, as a wife. I think of this time of waiting as my time in the cocoon, being shaped so that I can one day fly. So that I can one day fly higher than I ever imagined I could.
There are many reasons in life that we find ourselves waiting. Maybe you’ve had surgery or a health setback like me. Maybe you’ve gone through a loss–a death of a loved one, a divorce, or the end of a relationship. We all endure our personal wildernesses at one time or another. I believe we have a choice in how we behave in that wilderness. The Bible has a lot to say about waiting.I, personally, hold onto these two verses:
Romans 5: 3-4
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.
But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Rejoice in our sufferings? Now, that just seems nuts, right? But, as someone who has suffered from severe depression, I can tell you– looking to the positives in this post-surgical journey has made all the difference. I could’ve easily crawled back into a big, dark hole. Instead, I continually told myself “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Through the physical challenges, through the mental challenges, I tried to look at the hidden blessings and rejoice in them! I have focused on my belief that God can take broken things and make them beautiful. It is important to be active in our waiting, not just complacent. We have to seek Him in the struggle and set our minds to moving forward. That’s where the renewed strength comes in. Fix your eyes on Him, and He will carry you through the darkest of times. And when the time is right, the answers will come. Maybe not written out on a piece of paper like we’d like, maybe not in the timely manner we desire, but they do come.
I just keep living my mantra– Pray. Trust. Wait. And I know one day the answers will come, and the struggle will be eased. If you are in a wilderness too, I pray you will join me in this. I’ll be praying for you.