Lately, I have been swayed by whispers of the enemy.
I have been stuck in my head, thoughts swirling, looking for answers to difficult questions within myself alone.
It is a fool’s errand, and I have been stalled.
In the words of Lauren Daigle, I need to tell myself to “Look Up, Child”.
What I have noticed, through trial and error and from listening to a wise pastor’s advice, is that time with God must be a priority. I don’t think it matters so much how long a period of time, just that you carve out even a few minutes a day to get centered, to remember what is really true and really important.
I have always known this to be a fact. It isn’t a new revelation, but lately, my attention has been drawn other places. Like a rabbit chasing after a carrot, I have taken the bait to head first in other directions with my time and thoughts. (And not all bad directions; they have just taken priority over my time with God.) And when that happens, I forget. I forget to see myself as God sees me. I’m full of thoughts of “I can’t” and “I’m not enough.” I grow somewhat lost, ungrounded.
I want to sit here and proclaim that if I focus this time more purposefully on my relationship with God, I will soon be shouting “I can!” and “I am enough!”. Maybe that is true to some extent, but maybe it isn’t. What’s more important is to realize that “God always can.” And even if I can’t, God still sees me as His beloved child, and that is certainly more than enough. When I am weak, He is strong. In essence, “I can, with God’s help.” or “We can.”
And maybe the point is, I will never be “good enough” to deserve God’s love or to deserve the sacrifice that was made for me. But that love and that sacrifice are given to me anyway. Maybe we would all be a little more at ease if we quit fighting so hard to be “enough” and realize that it is okay not to be. Wouldn’t that be a weight lifted? What if we could tell ourselves, “God loves you…YOU…and that is enough. Stop trying so hard to find your worth from outside sources. Just Be! Be who God created YOU to be and let him guide your steps.”
I know it is time for me to get back on track and focused–to look up. The good news is when we stray, even slightly, the Father welcomes us back with open arms. He never stops chasing after us. We just have to go ‘home’. And if that’s hard, rest assured that he’ll leave the ninety-nine to find you, one child whom he adores.
For me, it is time to put away distractions and be centered once more. And maybe, just maybe, all those other areas of life will become much easier as I extend more of God’s grace to myself and others. Yes, please, let’s get back to grace.