faithful living

Taking the first step

I have been a theatre teacher, in some capacity, for the past fifteen years.

Today, I scrolled through posts by my former co-workers at the school where I resigned mid-year, last year, due to my back issues. I had been there for seven years. The photos show groups of teachers having fun on a back-to-school scavenger hunt, and it looks like quite an adventure. As I looked at the photos, I couldn’t help but feel…

What is this feeling? It isn’t really sad. It isn’t even left out. It is as if I’m seeing glimpses of a life that was mine for a time, and I’ve learned that it is okay to let all that go–to move on. Yet, I don’t know what the future holds so there’s a bit of nostalgia. When you choose to make a change because you’re moving toward something new, it isn’t so bad. When change finds you, and you’re waiting to see your life unfold, it is slightly more challenging. I’m in limbo, stuck in the “in between”. It is neither good, nor bad. It just is.

Have you ever felt one door of life closing, but you’re not sure what door to enter next? Or what window to climb through? Or whether or not you should rent a helicopter and come through the roof access?

I’m filled with so many questions. What will the next step look like? I can say with confidence that I don’t want to hold on to the old chapter, clinging to what’s comfortable and known, just for the sake of having been there before. I figure any great journey starts with one small step.

One of my dear friends loves to ask me the same question over and over. She knows it is a challenge. She knows I haven’t come up with a satisfying answer. I think this will be my first small step into this new phase of life–to reach deep inside my soul, and answer this question…

What is your real dream?

After all, if we don’t know know what our dreams are, how can we go about chasing them? May we all have the courage to search ourselves for what we really want and have the courage to follow through.



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